Recently, the John Wall Foundation hosted an event at The
Salvation Army, where John Wall opened up about how difficult the
last few years have been for him. The five-time All-Star described
the last few years as “the darkest place I’ve ever been
in.”
“At one point in time, I thought about committing suicide,” Wall
admitted. “I mean, just tearing my Achilles, my mom being sick, my
mom passing, my grandma passing a year later — all of this in the
midst of COVID at the same time… me going to the chemotherapy and
sitting there, seeing my mom take her last breath, wearing the same
clothes for three days straight and laying on the couch beside her.
My team, the mother of my kids has been great, my two boys, it's my
motivation for me. Looking at all that, I'm like, 'If I can get
through this, I can get through anything in life.'
"Everybody goes through something, we all went through tough
times, nobody's got it easy. But I don't think a lot of people
could get through what I went through. To me, to be back on top
where I want to be and see that the fans still want me to play,
having support from my hometown, their support means a lot in a
time where I had to go find a therapist.
"A lot of people think, 'I don't need help, I can get through
it,' but you gotta be true to yourself, find out what's best for
you, and I did that. I'm just happy to have this opportunity to
play basketball again. I think everything I have been through has
all been a part of God's plan… Even though I was in a dark place
the last couple of years, I'm super excited... to play the game
that I love."
This admission sent shock waves throughout the entire sports
world.
I reached out to former Washington Wizards center Marcin Gortat,
who played with Wall for five seasons, to have a discussion about
his former teammate.
Etan Thomas: What were your thoughts when you
heard John Wall’s interview detailing everything he has been
through?
Marcin Gortat: “First of all, I was shocked. I
didn’t know that he was going through so many different issues. I
was a witness a couple years ago while we were teammates and there
was this little 6-year-old girl, Miyah Telemaque-Nelson, who
he
had really connected with who passed away from cancer.
He had been raising money for her and doing charity work for her,
and I remember the big impact her death had on him. He literally
broke down during a postgame interview where he dedicated the game
to her.”
Thomas: Yeah, I remember seeing that video. He
really took that hard.
Gortat: “Even harder than most people know. He
was really down for a couple of weeks after that. So when I heard
that he lost his mom and then his grandmother, I thought back to
how hard he took [it] when little Miyah passed away. After hearing
this past interview, I felt bad. Like as a former teammate, I
should’ve been supporting [him] more. Yeah, I texted with him a
couple of times while he was in Houston. I knew he was struggling
with the situation as far as the team and them pushing him to the
side, so I knew that alone was catastrophic for him because I know
how much he loves basketball. But couple that with losing people as
close to you as your mother and grandmother [and that] had to have
been just devastating.”
Thomas: He mentioned that he has a positive
outlook now and feels optimistic with his new situation with the
Los Angeles Clippers, so that was good to hear.
Gortat: “Yeah, I’m hoping that basketball will
be something that can help him since he seems to be in a much
better situation with the Clippers so that will occupy his mind and
his emotions somewhat, but I really hope he heals and gets all of
the support toward his healing.”
Thomas: I definitely agree. One of the things
that bothers me is when I hear different fans or people on social
media or in the sports media reporting on rumors that are just
inaccurate. They cast a negative light on an athlete based on these
rumors. Stephen A. Smith publicly apologized to John for his
role in demonizing him last season in Houston. I was glad to see
him do that because the media really went after John Wall and
swayed public opinion on him in a very cruel and uninformed
way.
Gortat: “Yeah and that’s very unfortunate that
that happens a lot in the media nowadays, but this is how it is in
this league. A lot of people owe John Wall an apology. I understand
the media has to write something or say something on their shows
that’s controversial and that gets all of the people’s attention
because that’s what they are paid to do. But people who know John
know that they were unfairly demonizing him. Not that he’s perfect,
nobody is perfect. Did he make mistakes? Yes, but everybody makes
mistakes. But he is not the person they were making him out to be,
and it’s terrible how much that happens.”
Thomas: I had a
debate with David Aldridge and Marc Spears about the power of the
media. Marc came out publicly and said that he regretted doing the
interview, but I was trying to explain to them the power that the
media has to sway public opinion, and how the media should be held
accountable when they talk recklessly. And they just weren’t
willing to accept that the media has that kind of power. But this
is a prime example. It’s good that Stephen A. publicly apologized,
but hopefully that changes the way he and many others in the media
target players and demonize them because it happens too often. Just
here with the Wizards, I saw it happen with Kwame Brown and with
Chris Webber after he got traded (back when they were the Bullets).
It really happens way too much.
Gortat: “I definitely agree. So let me say, as
someone who played with John Wall for many years: When he is
healthy, he is one of the best point guards in the league — hands
down. The guy is a beast. I don’t know what Houston was doing with
him. That was completely absurd. Here you have a guy of his caliber
and you have him sitting at home? Not even on the bench, but at
home? I can’t imagine how he felt going through that for [an
entire] season? And to have these prominent people in the media
vilifying him while he is going through all of this, as he’s
dealing with injury after injury and losing his loved
ones?”
Thomas: Yeah, I don’t care if anyone says there
wasn’t any cruel or malicious intent behind their reporting — that
doesn’t mean that it wasn’t still cruel and malicious.
Gortat: “Exactly! Many people think athletes
are like robots — like video game characters who just perform, and
that’s not true. We are human beings with emotions and we go
through tragedies and hardships in life, but are still expected to
push all that to the side and perform at the highest level every
night. I remember seven or eight years ago when DeMar DeRozan was
in Toronto and he was going through depression and he said that he
was going to the games, but he wasn’t really thinking about the
games because he was dealing with so much personally.
“The NBA is getting better at helping players now when they are
going through tragedies, but we still have a long way to go. I
remember my fourth year and definitely my fifth year playing in
Washington — specifically when things with me and John were not the
best — there was a lot that I was dealing with and I didn’t have
too much help. But honestly, it wasn’t a concern. Many people just
wanted me to perform and push my personal life to the side, and
sometimes that’s hard to do.”
Thomas: “I can definitely attest to that. I
lost my grandmother, who I was really close with, while I was
playing with the Wizards. And I remember our trainer, Eric Waters,
trying to rush me back and I was like, “Can you give me a minute
please?” When I came back, that’s when I had the first issue with
Brendan Haywood. Normally, I would’ve ignored him throwing tantrums
over not getting enough playing time, but that day just wasn’t the
day, so I flipped on him. The team actually formed a human
barricade and escorted him out of the locker room. Then, everyone —
Ernie Grunfeld, Eric Waters, Coach Eddie Jordan — was like, “What’s
wrong? Why did you get so upset?” And I was like, “I told
y’all I needed a minute!”
Gortat: “Yeah, and my issues with John kind of
formed in a similar way, to be honest — because I was holding so
much in and suppressing what I was going through and reacting to
different things on the court like not getting the ball as much as
I wanted to or us losing games I felt we should’ve won.
Interesting, I didn’t know that’s what started y’all’s
issues.
“Let me tell you this quick story. I went to Cleveland and I was
on this stupid streak of 250 or 280 or something games [in a row]
without missing a game, so I was playing like three seasons
straight. And all of a sudden in December, my mom had a stroke. I
got the message while I was in Cleveland and I was shocked. I broke
down crying. They had found my mom after like a day-and-a-half,
laying at home unconscious; my friend found her. So when I came
back to the locker room that morning, I was there physically but I
wasn’t really there. But John and Brad [Beal] were the first people
who said, ‘Give him some space, let him go deal with what’s going
on with his family because that’s bigger than basketball and he has
our support.’ So, Coach [Randy] Wittman came down and told me, ‘Go
to Poland, don’t worry about the team for now.’
“That meant a lot to me. They knew what I was going through. And
when you’re so close to a teammate, you feel their pain. And in
turn, I know how close John was with his mom. He talked about her
all the time. When we finally sat down and squashed our issues, we
had a real ‘kumbaya moment.’ We talked about all of our personal
struggles, all that we were dealing with and had been dealing with.
We cleared the air and connected on a whole ‘nother level as
teammates, and it was exactly what we needed. So, hearing last week
that my teammate contemplated suicide was devastating. Yeah, we had
our issues in the past, but none of that matters now. I am cheering
for John and want him to be successful both on and off the
court.”
Thomas: I’m glad we did this interview, to have
us — two former Wizards — encourage our brotha. You know, once a
Wizard, always a Wizard. I really want to see him do well too. I
was already rooting for him to really have a new beginning with the
Clippers and shine like the old John Wall, but now I’m rooting for
him times 1,000.
Gortat: “I couldn’t agree with you more! I
wanna see John demolish every other point guard in the league. Just
go on a tear. I remember seeing him battle every game — Kyrie
Irving, Derrick Rose, Chris Paul — and people forget how good he
was, how fast he was end to end, how explosive he was. John was
special, and I want to see him get back to that. But more
importantly, I want him to heal because he has literally gone
through hell over these last years.”